[name=Olivia J] [description=I am not your average beauty blogger. Blogging since 2009. Editor of The Unknown Beauty Blog -- Read by the Intelligent! Uncredited, copied, and Plagiarized by the Idiots!] [img=https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-lQjJcRIw170/V1OXLv8leSI/AAAAAAAAeLE/6w7gg1uTmFEATqiSoBsIJ8_FH45ZUM84QCCo/s500/Olivia%25252520Denim.jpg]


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An Askew Fairy Tale featuring DuWop Cosmetics

*Post originally written by Olivia J on The Unknown Beauty Blog. If you see this post elsewhere, it has been stolen!**

Once upon a time there was a blogger named Jersa who loved her self-tanner like a cow loved to eat grass.  She was orange and happy but unhappy when it came to watching the celebrities walking the red carpet before an awards show.  Oh, how she wanted to walk that red carpet like a STAR!

"My chances of getting on that red carpet are as slim as Charlie Sheen turning into a saint."   She cried herself to sleep during the middle of a blog post.

Suddenly, Jersa woke up to a lilting voice, "Wake up hun, you gotta get ready to walk the red carpet with the celebs."  She rubbed her eyes to get them into focus and noticed a guy wearing slick black pants and a black shirt with a crystal wand.  "I am hawt," he said, "and I am here to make your dreams come true!"  He snapped his fingers in the air while outlining a "Z".  "We are going to put some sizzle in your fizzled attitude of yours!"

Upon opening his traincase, he displayed a collection of DuWop cosmetics.  He started with Jersa's eyes.  "I am applying this hot shadow duo Smoke in Black Gold to soften that skin color of yours but it will make your eyes as alluring as Batman behind the mask."

"Next, I am going to apply this creamy Cheek Venom in Sidewinder just for that light nude flush.  I said flush and not flash!"  They both chuckled with glee as the GuyFairy applied the soft cream lovingly on her tanned cheeks.

"Last but not least, I am applying this hot red lipstick called Private Red."

"Oh, I can't wear red lipsticks, they never look good on me," Jersa said defensively.

"Don't worry about this one," GuyFairy assured her, "there is magic in this lipstick.  It will automatically adjust to your skin coloring." 

"Awesome!" Jersa's eyes lit up like radiated meteorites.

"Now, the last part of this makeover, the dress,"  GuyFairy was about to wave the magic wand when Jersa interjected, "It has to be orange!"  The wand fell to the floor.

"Why orange, hun?"

"I look good in orange and that is my lucky color," she replied.

With a grimace GuyFairy waved his crystal wand and produced the most stunning orange dress.  A long, silky, flowing dress that hung over one shoulder with a slit up to the thigh and a peek-a-boo opening at the navel.  "Look, how stunning it is," GuyFairy commented.

"It feels a bit tight," Jersa interjected as she coughed to catch her breath.  She could feel her hips and thighs squished like sausages in plastic vacuum pack.  Well, she couldn't really feel them since the blood just wouldn't flow in something that tight.  And her bust was about to burst out of her chest but that is what made the dress sexy!  Jersa motioned to GuyFairy that she couldn't breathe well.

"Beauty isn't comfy, honey," and he winked with approval.  "You will be okay, just don't fall asleep in it," GuyFairy warned. 

Puzzled but ecstatic and a bit out of breath, Jersa pretended to understand the warning.  

With a wave of the wand, GuyFairy disappeared.  "Remember what I said,"  his voice warned, "do not fall asleep in that dress."

Jersa sat in the limo all excited.  She would have the chance to walk that red carpet like a STAR and to meet them too!"  Excited and confident, she sat in the car watching the scenery around her.  She let out a big yawn only to quickly blink a couple of times to counteract her tiredness.  She remembered  the warning, "Do not fall asleep in that dress!" GuyFairy's words echoed.  However, her eyelids grew heavy.  "I will just rest my eyes but not fall asleep," she assured herself.  Rest she did but slowly and surely the droning engine made her fall asleep.  ZZZZZZZ!

The chauffeur announced to Jersa their arrival.  He stepped out of the limo to open her door and out rolled a shriveled orange.  He picked it up and muttered, "It must have been a navel."

So, what is the moral of this story?

Life is like an orange, if you squeeze too much into it; you run out of juice!

Disclosure:  This post is written to promote DuWop products via Apothica and a chance for me to win some DuWop cosmetics and/or other things.  But, mostly it is written for you to see how fractured my mind really is.

Read by the Intelligent! Uncredited, copied, and plagiarized by the idiots!
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