This Blog-This Damn Blog, What the Hell?

I contemplated the fate of this blog for awhile. I have been looking at my stats and readership and noticed a few things. Okay not a few, one thing and it is going down, like downtown into the black hole of another universe. For some of you space junkies, this could sound like fun. After all what is in the black hole? Could be a completely different world full of cute puppies and kitties! (<---Just a cute thought that popped into my brain) Or could be all the dream men I ever wanted, waiting for me to grace my presence! Well whatever I am saying in this first paragraph, I did think hard about the two blogs, this one and Into the Palette.

If you noticed, I called it The Unknown Beauty Blog, and the word beauty is in it because no one would really like it if I called it The Unknown Snarky Blog About Beauty.

Beauty has such a vast meaning and the biggest meaning that I had been working on, probably from the day I was born,  was the inner more than outer.  I am not perfect, I am not pretty, I am not young anymore and I am not a tart.  I am just a woman growing older due to someone's great plan from higher up.  And, due to this plan, building the confidence of inner beauty is a lot harder than applying the instant beauty makeup provides.  Inner beauty deals with the insecurities and psychological aspects of life.  Inner beauty deals with answers that are ALL within ourselves but to believe and understand them means sacrificing parts of oneself that have been affected by outer forces.  It feels like stripping oneself naked and re-clothing yourself in a fashion that you thought you would never wear.  Uncomfortable at first but later it feels so good!

So, what does this have to do with my blog?  I sacrificed myself too much, mostly my personality and not to mention the flow of words.  I can't for the life of me write about cosmetics the way I write stories.  When people who know me read my blog they just look like this:

I am snarky, I am bitchy, I am me.  I love being those things because it reminds me that I didn't disappoint my grandmother (RIP) and it builds on my inner beauty which is a lot more dependable than the outer.

Did I think of deleting this blog and the other?  Yes!  Did I want to continue the way they were going? No.  Will they be here in 2012?  I can't answer that just yet.  If they do continue, I will have to get my writing and personality skills in order.  Nothing makes me unhappier than to see those and my readership go down.

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